Raising Kids
Hey, are you wondering if the Growing Kids class is right for you? Here are some comments from the latest graduates:
"I was always told 'NO, because I said so'. So I thought that was how you did it. It was really eye opening to give my children the reasons which makes a lot of sense."
"We are communicating much much better."
"I enjoyed finding out that we weren't the only people dealing with the struggles we had."
"A must-go class."
When asked, "What are you and your family doing differently since the start of this class?"
"Everything. There is no way to narrow it down to one thing. The way we communicate, love, pray, worship and live together is different."
"It's been helpful to learn about first-time obedience and teaching our children how not to interrupt. I am working on being consistant and not being a repeating parent."
"Everything has been amazing. Our whole way of communicating has drastically changed."
"The whole process has changed our life, family, and marriage."
Stay tuned for the next Growing Kids God's Way class.
Helpful hints for the father taken from Growing Families International
What Dads Can Do
More than ever, fathers today share a common responsibility with Mom for creating and maintaining a nurturing environment in the home. The effective father is first and foremost an effective husband and there are some wonderful things he can and should be doing to make his home a place of comfort and security. What might this look like? Here are a few suggestions for Dads that send the right message to Mom and your children.
Speak Words of Appreciation
Affirmation is a valued gift a mother never grows tired of receiving. These are words expressing Dad’s appreciation for the special little things that makes his home a sanctuary of love; the great meal he finds on the dinner table or the joy of his children which is often a reflection of what Mom has done during the day. Dad can start with “thank you” and build from there. Sincere words and daily encouragement are a gift every woman appreciates and they are not soon forgotten.
Show Honor
If we trace the breakdown in fatherhood, it tends to begin at the point when a husband fails to honor Mom as his wife and not just as the mother of his children. There is no substitute for a husband who routinely does things that demonstrate a loving commitment to his wife. This could be through acts of service, (doing something that you know she is going to appreciate), giving her undivided attention, or gracing her with words of encouragement. Equally important is making sure that going on a date night once a week happens. It may be a couple of hours over dinner or a visit to a local coffee shop. Such times have value because it is taking your wife out of her role of motherhood and celebrating her first role as a wife. The best gift any father can give his children is a visible demonstration that Mom is the most important woman in the world.
Like-Mindedness
No dad has the luxury of a single job. When he leaves his day-job he heads home for the most important vocation of his life, that being a husband and a father. This means more than just going home and changing a diaper now and then. It means sitting down with his wife and asking questions that can help him stay connected to what is going on in Mom’s day. Consider Dad as the “Why Manager” of the home. Rather than just accepting “This is what moms do,” a husband should routinely seek to understand how and why she came to her parenting decisions during the day. This is not an intrusion on Mom’s judgment, but a way that will help both Mom and Dad stay accountable to their goals and beliefs. Work on having a consistent time to discuss what is going on in the family, which keeps Dad informed and affords opportunity for Mom to hear a second opinion. Being like-minded provides a mutually agreed starting point. By that we mean, when parenting challenges do come your way, you are not left wondering in that moment, what you believe as a couple. Rather, like-mindedness has you working together towards solutions within the boundaries of what you already know and embrace.
Knowing Why
Remember, parenting is a team effort. A mom can’t do it alone nor does she really want to. This is one good reason why couples should continue to set aside a few minutes each day to talk through challenges or changes relating to the little person in the home. This will make for some great Couch-time conversation. Women appreciate a husband who is willing to participate in the ‘knowledge’ side of parenting. It would be helpful for Dad to know his son’s routine. Try taking your pretoddler for a day, starting at breakfast, through naps and into dinner time. This experience not only gives your wife the gift of time, but more importantly, it gives you the gift of understanding of what it is like to be ‘Mom’ every day. Husbands who care in the little things care in the big ones even more. But cultivating Dad’s support begins with Mom keeping him informed. We can tell you from experience that when a man thinks all is going well at home, he has a tendency and maybe a willingness to stay blissfully ignorant of any challenges. Mom, you need to keep Dad informed if you want his support. Dad will listen better to what you are trying to share with him if done so in a calm manner and not in the heat of a crisis or immediately as he walks through the door. Keeping Dad informed really is all part of a mutual partnership to manage your child’s positive behaviors and minimize the things that can lead to negative ones.
Seeking Understanding
True love does not default to judgment, but first seeks under-standing. Not every day will end up being the perfect day when Dad walks through the door. He may walk into a chaotic situation without knowing what has been going on earlier that day. He sees his toddler son pulling papers off his desk or maybe dinner is delayed tonight. The wise father will first seek understanding of Mom’s day before passing judgment on what he sees. All the more reason when you get home, make sure those first words spoken are uplifting, not condemning. They should be words that speak life and build up, not words that tear down or wound.
What is a husband’s reasonable duty towards his wife?
He is to stand behind his wife as a support to her
He is to stand next to his wife as a friend to her
He is to stand in front of his wife as a protector of her
A husband is to live with his wife in understanding . . . showing her honor as she is a coheir in the grace of life. (c.f. I Peter 3:7)